Monday, October 1, 2012

Tricycle City: Vehicles: Bart's Skateboard, Jasper

Bart's Skateboard, Jasper, is one of the only things cooler than Bart.  Well, he's cooler than regular Bart, but
he's NOT COOLER than bootleg t-shirt Bart - especially the bootleg t-shirt Barts where Bart is Black
and either a Jamaican Rasta or a Michael Jordan Bart.  But Jasper definitely IS COOLER than regular
Bart and WAY COOLER than any of those Tech Decks or any other miniature skateboard.
If you don't understand why Jasper's the coolest, well then you just don't get it and you shouldn't
try to get it.  All I'm saying is you don't see Jasper playing himself out after 78 seasons and still
pretending to be a 9-year-old badass.  Jasper knows he's getting old, he needs to wear glasses to read
now and he enjoys a good cup of tea.  Sometimes he even rides around in a wheelchair.  He likes to
reminisce about the old days, when Bart wasn't quite drawn right yet, and when "Cowabunga"
really meant what it's supposed to mean.


  1. I had a bootleg Bart shirt and a real Bart shirt. The bootleg one was to go play and get dirty whilst I rode my bike and got into shenanigans.
    The real Bart shirt was only to be used when there was no chance of me soiling or tearing it. I eventually outgrew them both. I think I wore the real shirt like twice.

    1. I never had a Bart shirt. This kid that I used to council at a camp up in the Catskills used to to have one and he wore it every day. The thing got so crusty it could stand up all by itself. We tried to get him to part with it, to wash it, but he always smuggled it back and had it on by lunch-time. This was the same kid that would put ketchup on his hand and try to trick you into "giving him five" by sort of hiding it. He had like a 10% success rate but he said that it was worth it.

  2. I think we need some cool catch phrases around the apartment finally. I got one: "Gimme a hundred dollars!". I'll say it every time someone asks me a question that I'm too disgusted to answer.

    1. While the content of this post is extraordinarily informative and you make some excellent points, I don't see how it's related to the topic of super-cool Jaspar. We all know you were always jealous of him, Rubbish James.