Thursday, December 27, 2012
3 Ladies
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| Close-Up of the luminescent "Sleeping Lady" sign in my apartment. Used to be on the side of a motel in Maryland. |
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| Close-up of a 1950's Calendar girl from a gas station giveaway. |
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| Netflix still from the 1981 Roger Corman remake "Not of This World", a B-level sci-fi new waver. |
Merry Christmas From Mr. Parfenix
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| That's my Christmas Present from Mr. P right there in his sausages - I mean - hands. Not sure what a bigger score -- the incredible hand-style on the envelope or the Squirrel Underpants that are hiding inside of it. |
Hibernating Beach Ball
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| Bayside, Queens. That's a talented Beach Ball right there, staying inflated like that. |
Santa Bread
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| What? |
Santa Bread courtesy of Mr. Parfenix as purchased at Rose and Joe's Bakery in Astoria, Queens.
99¢ BANK
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| OZONE PARK'S EVERYTHING 99¢ occupies one of those old, regal bank buildings. I can't decide if this is good or bad. What I do like is that they painted the old vault yellow and that's where they keep the baskets and 99¢ luggage. |
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| The old clock: to show the power. |
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Santa Robot
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| I bought this awesome Santa Robot from a junk dealer in Pennsylvania for what seemed like a steal: $35!!! |
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| When I got home and opened the box, this piece of garbage's head was broken off and he wouldn't turn on to play the cool music as advertised on the box. What a gyp! Looking at the sad little robot sitting there with his head knocked over, I was struck by the Yule-Tide bolt of lightning... Isn't the true Spirit of Christmas when you can love something even when it's broken down? Since then, me and this Jolly Jalopy been having a merry ol' time. Merry Christmas everyone from your favorite rat!!! |
Friday, December 21, 2012
Best Ever Santa Hater
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| The Kid is just like, NO WAY. |
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| The look is part horror, part disgust. |
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| Santa stays calm. |
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| Santa's grip, and the Kid makes a fist. |
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| Merry Christmas! |
Optimus Claus
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| And Starscream thought he was the real Santa Claus. "You can never trust the Autobots," cried Starscream, and he transformed into a plane and started shooting lasers all over the place. |
Snow White and the Five Dwarves
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| In honor of Christmas and that awful-looking 15-hour Hobbit Commercial that came out, I'm posting this wonderful picture of Snow White and the Five Dwarves. Dwarves are sort of like little Santas, which is what elves sort of are, but not in Middle Earth. Santa Elves are more like Middle Earth Dwarves, which is what Gnomes are like. Middle Earth Elves are just tall, thin, perfect jerks, sort of like people in the fashion industry or a certain type of Art World person (Andy Warhol might have been a bit of an Elf). Santa Elves obviously get down. Middle Earth Dwarves are more disgusting than Snow White Dwarves. The weird thing here is that Dwarves are a real thing, but in the stories they're not supposed to be regular human Dwarves, they're a little more like magic Dwarves. Weirder still is that in Middle Earth there are Hobbits too -- and they're not Dwarves or Elves or Humans, but we're supposed to think that the Humans and the Hobbits got down at one point. I think. |
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| Best Part: Sleepy is wearing Bashful's hat and an insane pair of false eyelashes! |
Mini-Pops Murder Frosty The Snowman
Disgusting late-80s British Kid band do Frosty the Snowman on a pseudo-rap drum-beat! It's awful!
Check it out!!!
Check it out!!!
REPOST: Santa Posse: The Many Faces of Claus and Those On His Lap
From my ever-growing collection of Santa photographs, here are 5 outstanding examples of the Big Guy in the world of photography.
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| Santa with Twins. A moment of perfect weirdness in the world. |
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| You can pretty much tell that this Santa was into being Santa. |
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| Full flown terror, and this Santa is laughing. The girl's older brother is chilling though. |
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| Detail of her hand reaching out, half her crying face, and half of Santa's laughing face. |
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| This little girl might have lost it, but unlike the one upstairs, she's not struggling to get away. It's more like sadness, over terror, but she's resigned herself to the tragedy. |
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| This guy's just trying to remember what he wants for Christmas. |
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| A little blind girl feels Santa's beard. |
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| He's a good Santa, with top-of-the-line stick-on eyebrows. They don't wear those anymore. Sometimes you catch them just wear the the beard AND moustache stuck under their chins. Santas these days. |
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| This girl seems a little older than the other screamers. |
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| I just think it's great how going to see Santa, which is supposed to be a magical and fun thing, turns into a nightmare for some kids. And they really feel it. They don't like it. I think that this girl is more like, "What is this? I don't get it." |
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| I think his eyebrows are touched up with make-up. |
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| I suppose they're at the Post Office, but getting stamps from Santa seems pretty weak. That's probably why the girl is crying. |
Thursday, December 20, 2012
THE PATH
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| This Path leads to the other side of the 6th Borough. Some call it the rich side. Others say it's the bad side. Yes, it's SIXTH, and technically Zaghaven, but most of us refer to it as Blue Kills, after the Park (which you see here) of the same name. It's nice in Blue Kills, but when it's not rush hour, the streets are completely deserted. Things on the other side of the park include: 1. The Candy Factory. 2. Blue Kills Preparatory High School. 3. The Zephyr Mansion. 4. The Giraffe Stables. 5. The Handball Stadium. 5. Blue Kills North: the fancy houses that surround the park. 6. The Hole.* |
*"What is the Hole?" you might ask. It is a big hole. It had something to do with the Rumbles. I've been trying to find out about it for years. I'm not even sure where it is.
6th Borough Architecture
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| Triangles. Shingles. Awnings. That's also the password to the Indonesian Social Club that all the old folks hit up on |
Zaghaven Liquors
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| I know a Liquor Store might not seem like a kid show spot, but Zaghaven Liquors does it's bit to help the community. They sponsor a little league team (appropriately called the Zaghaven Liquors), they organize a yearly Easter Egg hunt (around Halloween) and the storeowner (a big fat Pakistani guy named Shazzeb), always dresses up like Santa Claus -- period. Year round, he's in this grimy old Santa Claus suit. That's all. |
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