Stupid kids (and me) endlessly love big stupid robots.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Mr. Parfenix's BACON recipe (sort of)
The absolute NUMBER ONE thing about Mister Parfenix is that he's crazy. I asked him to send me his bacon recipe yesterday, requesting that he please send me the recipe using "bullet points". The last recipe he sent Rubbish came in a strange block of letters with no spaces and no punctuation. Birds are like that -- they peck at the keys like they're fighting for street morsels.
Anyhow, Mr. Bacon, I mean Mr. Parfenix, delivered. If anybody makes this bacon block, please let us know, we actually have some pretty excellent doctor's phone numbers in our rolodex.
1. A "push-back" is basically how Travolta wore his hair in Saturday Night Fever.
2. Cassoulet is a French dish: Duck and beans. Some bird this guy is.
3. A saw-buck is ten dollars. It's more of a Chicago term, but if Mr. P wants to roll like that...
Dear Mr. Parfenix: Did you use Kraft caramel cubes?
You would smoke it. Mr. Parfenix smokes a lot of things.
Right, Rubbish??
Mr. Parfenix actually thinks he's CUTE using the completely legitimate, although extremely cornball and EXCESSIVELY ARCHAIC Charles Dickens style term, "faggots" --
for the sad little bundles of wood he gathers from the tree shakings all across the Sixth Borough.
In addition to having CORN syrup running through his ventricles instead of blood, Mr. Parfenix is so OLD his best friend in school was the DINOSAUR that used to sit next to him in the DUNCE CORNER. That's why he uses such OLD terminology.
That, and the BLACK PLAGUE ate away half his brain.
Not to mention the memory loss from the injury he suffered during the Revolutionary War.
He swore he was just wearing a red coat because it was all they had left at the general store but George Washington had to shoot him in the head with his musket just to be sure he wasn't with the bad guys.
Mr. Parfenix can be nice sometimes too. Sometimes.
Labels:
STORYTIME
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
The Lozenge of Crime
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He's gone by many names, this valued Leader of the Life-Isn't-Fair Posse. |
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The Lozenge of Crime. Larry-Boy. The Lavender Lookout. Latman. Loser. Listen to his theme song and click these gifs to watch them big! |
Labels:
MUSIC,
STORYTIME,
STUFF I COLLECT
Mad Dog Air Freak Plane
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He's like, "Yo, check out my disgusting Mad Dog Plane". She's like, "I have mixed emotions about it but I'm mostly freaked out!" |
Labels:
STORYTIME
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Bad Taste: Dead Michael Jackson Decoration
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Today in Sunset Park, BK, in a laundromat. |
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I do love that the British press were unified in calling MJ "Wacko" no matter what. He deserved it because he desperately wanted to be called the King of Pop. And because he was crazy. |
Labels:
STUFF I COLLECT
Phantom Key Food
If you've been to the Phantom Key Food, please let me know what products you like to purchase from their shelves.
Labels:
STORYTIME
Monday, January 28, 2013
Funky Bird
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Bolay is one funky bird. I like him because he always brings me leftovers from that popular Cuchifritos stand in the park. I'd definitely put him in the "Looks Like Frankie Crew" |
Labels:
STORYTIME
Shmider-Man is in the LIFE ISN'T FAIR POSSE
Make Your Own Plastic Balloons
Labels:
STUFF I COLLECT
Old Cometman
Labels:
MUSIC,
STORYTIME,
STUFF I COLLECT
Planet Fashions Gear on Sorgum Ave.
Labels:
STORYTIME
Leprechauns: Best or Worst Holiday Mascot
Labels:
STORYTIME
Zaghaven Power Plant
Labels:
STORYTIME
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Mr. Parfenix has a Girlfriend!
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I didn't know pigeons had such defined eyelids. |
Labels:
STORYTIME
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