I'm not gonna lie to you. Zaghaven has its sketchy characters. Mr. Parfenix and Sudsy aside, there
are some serious sleazeballs in our neighborhood. Take Darth Claude. It's not so much that he's
a junkie/stoner/alcoholic that bothers me. It's how much he likes to talk. And to beat around the bush.
It's all build up with this guy. There's never any crescendo or point to his stories. He's always
talking about his homeboy, this other half a crackhead named Bad-Egg Greggs. Greggs got
his name from still going egg-bombing on Halloween well into his forties. Darth Claude is
always painting these really dire portraits of Greggs, where, "he's gotta get his shit together."
Or what? Greggs is fine -- he still lives with his moms in a three-family house and they own the
building. They rent to college students and charge an arm and a leg. Darth Claude is the guy
who has nothing but that stupid-ass Fubu jacket that he wears and those dumb-looking sunglasses
that spell out 2001 on them. That's his look. He calls the Fubu jacket vintage but it ain't vintage
if it's got puke dried all over the sleeves and it's from 2008 and it's a FUBU. Still, the
sunglasses are kinda fly though. |