Thursday, January 17, 2013

Terry Hill Water Park and Mini Golf: FOR SALE!!

This is what you see on 222 in Kutztown, PA.
This is Terry the Pirate.  The Park hadn't been doing so well because Terry insisted on wearing the
clown rouge on his cheeks. It freaked out the kids.  Terry Hill used to do well in the 80s when there was
a rumor that Voltron borrowed Terry's sword.
On being a giant, Terry had this to say, "The dating scene is difficult.  I've gone out with some sexy trees,
but most of them don't understand the need to travel the seven seas.  Human woman are a bit small for
me.  I was married to one once, but one Sunday I had me mates over for a barby and they shish-ka-bobbed
her along with my little dog Skallywag and few raccoons.  Best shish I ever had, but I do miss her
sometimes, especially when I need the toejam harvested out of my good foot."  Terry says Toejam
goes well with Scalp Grease, which serves as a kind of Pungent Butter.  It's no PB&J, but smeared all over
a seagull leg when you've been at sea for 3 months, it's just about the only delicacy available,
Besides dirty splinter-cakes and rat-bone marrow.
Terry lost his leg in a water slide accident that he prefers not to speak about.  Also, the owners of
Terry Hill had him sign a confidentiality agreement.  

Check out the water design part of the sign.

The shack is quite quaint.

I simply must know what the max weight was for allowing someone to cannonball into the pool.

Angle 1.

Angle 2.

Angle 3.

Angle 4.
Angle 5.  Guarded by one of the dudes from Easter Island.  What up with that Mr. Parfenix!?!?

Meila peeks over the wall.

I guess when the Park stopped running, these rabbits were frozen in time!  Somebody's got to buy this
place and set these guys in motion again.
The rules for the Tube Slide.  I like how THIS looks like the guy is pooping in the tube.
The Jah Slide.  The best Water Slide on the East Coast.

This is the cave where the Evil Troll lived who tried to charge people extra if they couldn't answer
his 3 Riddles About Bob Marley.  
The Jah Slide spits into this lovely pool.
Another angle.
Hot Tub!
People always were mistaking this Tipi for one of the holes on the Mini-Golf course, but it's actually
a real tipi that belongs to a lovely Native American family that are all 6 inches tall.
For an abandoned water park in the dead of winter, these tubes are oddly blown to full inflation.
Terry, the giant pirate, used to think these were Smurf Bagels.
This is the biggest, longest, most deadly slide at Terry Hill because it leads to a variety of different
exits, all of which are along route-222 in Pennsylvania.

First, it goes past these poor chickens, ducks and donkey who've all been frozen in time.
The donkey is actually faking -- he lives a few doors down on 222 but he likes to play what he thinks
is the "Freezey Game" with is "Fowl Friends"
This is the part of the Slide known as Uncharted Waters.
Once you go under the bridge, the slide goes underground.
If you're a talented Water-Slider, you can sort of steer and choose which tunnel you
want to take.  Be sure to avoid the tunnel that leads to the Pennsylvania Sewer Academy.

My wife and I chose this exit.  Tons of fun!

1 comment:

  1. so to recap;
    -rat-bone marrow
    -Fatties not welcome
    -Easter Island head
    -Pooping in the tube
    -One of the slides has a Rastafarian Vibe
    -Teepee
    -Smurf Bagel
    -Sewage and green water.

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