Wednesday, January 23, 2013


Mr. Parfenix, my landlord, is also a dastardly supervillain that wears a pigeon suit and is way into
molecular bartending, which helps him produce his patented SHRINK DRINK, a dangerous little
cocktail that allows him to alter his size.  Alas, the measurements are not always right, and there are
those days when Mr. P winds up duplicating himself.  Last Saturday at least 200 copies of Mr. P
came knocking on my door looking for the rent.  

Other names for Mr. Parfenix:

1. Batman (that's what he calls himself).
2. The Retarded Batman (That's what Rubbish calls him).
3. Count Peckula.
4. The Lord of all Suffering (another one by him).
5. Sausage Fingers (Mine).
6. Pinkfoot (His detective name).
7. Mr. Beer (Also Me).
8. Creepy Cheese (His stage name from when he was in The Smell, his new wave band).
9. Uncle Pothole (Luca, my Intern)
10. Mr. Size Tens (we call him this because he didn't realize he was a size 12 for more than 10 years).
11. The Bar-B-Cue Warden.
12. Longsleeves (When he wears his scariest costume).
13. Raving Lunatic (the lady from down the block).
14. Neighborhood Menace (the lady across the street).
15. BEST (himself, again).
16. The Real Mod (him too).
17. Lotto PixDix (His graffiti tag).
18. Secunta (The name he plays 8-Bit golf under at his friend's house on Friday Nights).
19. Re-Cyclone (his Recycling character - the hero of all recycling - he self-produced nearly thirty commercials starring himself as Re-Cyclone, beating people to a pulp for not recycling.  He calls these 30 commercials his "movie" even most of them are only on audio cassette.)