In honor of Christmas and that awful-looking 15-hour Hobbit Commercial that came out, I'm posting this wonderful picture of Snow White and the Five Dwarves. Dwarves are sort of like little Santas, which is what elves sort of are, but not in Middle Earth. Santa Elves are more like Middle Earth Dwarves, which is what Gnomes are like. Middle Earth Elves are just tall, thin, perfect jerks, sort of like people in the fashion industry or a certain type of Art World person (Andy Warhol might have been a bit of an Elf). Santa Elves obviously get down. Middle Earth Dwarves are more disgusting than Snow White Dwarves. The weird thing here is that Dwarves are a real thing, but in the stories they're not supposed to be regular human Dwarves, they're a little more like magic Dwarves. Weirder still is that in Middle Earth there are Hobbits too -- and they're not Dwarves or Elves or Humans, but we're supposed to think that the Humans and the Hobbits got down at one point. I think. |