Monday, October 22, 2012


If you're reading this blog (you're crazy) but if you are actually reading it, you know that we've been
interviewing alligators to join our show as one of our Neighborhood News correspondents.  While we're
in the middle of trying to make our own alligator to fill the job, I'm still taking applications. I got
an interesting call the other day from Lancaster McIlvie, yes that Lancaster McIvie, the same
reporter that came into our homes every night in the 80's on Channel 55.  Apparently, since he was
fired for eating his camera-man and two interview subjects in 1993,
Lancaster has taken a part-time position at the Queens Zoo, teaching kids how lay on their bellies,
sleep, and bite people's heads off. 

When I showed up yesterday, he'd just finished a lesson, and was having a bit of
a lie-down in the marsh.  When I asked him if he was seriously interested in the job I had available,
he seemed sort of enthused to get back in the news game.  He expressed some bewilderment at the terms
"blog" and "internet" but then seemed to really get going at the mention of his salary, which would be no less
than two interns a week to cook, roast, boil, or do anything else he might like to do with.
When I asked him when he could start, he fell asleep.  So we're still looking.