Monday, October 22, 2012


Maurice is the star of the Petting Zoo part of the Queens Zoo.  He's engaging, hungry, cracks really
smart jokes, makes the right references, can talk about almost any subject, and has a really
sweet singing voice.  He always makes sure to include a little caricature of you in every
autograph he signs, and if he really likes you, he spits right on your trousers.

Maurice had a difficult time as a kid, what with his mom being a goat, and his father being a rabbit.
Sure, his dad was one of those gigantic Watership-Down type rabbits, part of a long line of
rabbit hunters that stood up on two-legs and killed all their carrots using a bow and arrow.
Imagine this mighty rabbit hunter of a father when his half-goat son comes to him and tells him
he wants to get into show business.  It was enough to drive his father to drink -- even more carrot juice.
After not speaking for 5 years, Maurice's dad finally came and visited him at the Petting Zoo.
They talked about Maurice's mom, and all the giant carrots his dad had killed during carrot season,
but then they talked about Maurice's ups and downs, all the agents he's had to fire over the years,
the 2 hours he spends in the make-up chair every morning, and the illegitimate "kid" he had with
Sandra, one of the other goats at the zoo.  Maurice's dad got choked up to learn he was a
grandfather, and he wound up crying and apologizing to Maurice for being so damn blind over
the years.  Maurice was like, "You know what would make up for everything?  If you'd pet me
here in front of all these people."  Maurice's dad said, "I'd be proud to pet you, son."