Friday, October 5, 2012

People in My Neighborhood: Manny

On the 8th day of every week, I meet up with my friend Manny and we go Watermelon-Bowling at the local Wheelbarrow Rink.  I know everyone thinks that the Wheelbarrow Rink is the new hot-spot for Wheelbarrow Racing - the anti-sport where the slowest wheelbarrow pusher wins - BUT - once every week, the Wheel-barrow pushers stay home and us Watermelon bowlers are in the building.  

Watermelon Bowling is difficult.  First, every player needs like 80 or so watermelons to play for a night.  Second, you need dynamite (quarter-sticks, preferably).  Third, you need as many garden gnomes as can be stolen - those are the pins - obviously.  For every roll, you need to cut a hole into your watermelon, light your quarter-stick of dynamite, put it into the hole, then roll the watermelon (you can throw it if you need to) at the the gnomes.  The watermelon knocks over whatever gnomes it manages to, then it explodes.  Then a bunch of other gnomes get knocked over, or destroyed.  It's weird in Watermelon Bowling how easy it is to roll strikes.  Manny and I are so good of a team, that we call ourselves STRIKERS.  Funny thing about that is, almost all the teams are called Strikers at the Wheelbarrow Rink.  Everybody is that good.

Manny and I are starting to get ready for the championships, which happen in Bladembuary, which everyone from the old hospital knows, is the 13th Month of the year.  If those guys from Atlantis (no, not the Bar and Grill of the same name on Bell Boulevard - I'm talking about the underwater one) think they're gonna take the trophy this year, they got another think coming.

The trophy is a tiny golden peanut that you can't see even with a high-powered microscope.  Some people would say the Golden Peanut doesn't exist, by me and Manny know it does and we know it will be ours.  It will be so great when we have it!

We wear shower-caps because it keeps all the underground Lizard-People radio signals out of our heads for a good, clean bowl.