Sunday, October 28, 2012

Onion Crunch and Astro Diner

America's newest condiment is Onion Crunch.
I was in the Astro Diner on 55th Street yesterday and they had it right there on the table
along with salt, pepper, ketchup, and Sweet'N Low.

It's sort of like bacon bits, but more onion-y.  It's also sort of like confetti, but more onion-y.
If anything, I'm just glad there's an anthropomorphic onion running around now.

I like Astro Diner, but not that much. The fact that people review it on Yelp strikes an excellent sweet spot for me -- I think it's crazy and super funny.  It doesn't make me laugh out loud, but it makes me feel in a funny mood for, like a half hour after reading the reviews.  I think it shows that you are 100% insane if you actually go to Yelp, log in, and write up a review of Astro Diner.  It's so crazy to me.  It's just a diner -- it's definitely bad, but it's not that bad. It's kind of good. Do you like diners? I do, mostly because you can talk with your friends in an easy and carefree manner.  In a diner booth, you can get into it -- gossip, cursing, complaining, whatever.  But I hate diners too because they're kind of gross.  That's where I eat BLT's and french fries and stupid old chicken fingers.  Now, I can always get down on some chicken fingers, but they're fried and mostly frozen, and it's just stupid to eat them.  They're bad for you and make you feel like a jerk, but they're probably better than some of those dinner specials that the old people get at 4 in the afternoon.

Anyhow, here's my top four out of the Astro Diner reviews on Yelp.

I basically don't believe her.  I bet she didn't eat in there.

Big, juice and fresh!

This guys CAPITALS game is ON POINT.

11 dollars for a waffle sounds so funny.