Tuesday, October 2, 2012

People in My Neighborhood: Mr. Wappington

Mr. Wappington lives in my building.  There are three things I know about Mr. Wappington.

1. He's a sharp dresser.  2. His accent is phony - he's from Brooklyn, not England.  3. He's a ruthless criminal. 

Sure he'll claim that's all behind him now.  But once, while we were shooting the show, I needed to send my
intern (@LUCADAGAWD) over to his apartment to try and borrow a lightbulb.

Wappinton pulled a SWORD out of his umbrella and held it to Luca's NECK.
"You ever disturb my tea again," he said, "And I'll slit the back of your hamstrings.  You'll
never skateboard again."  Then he SPIT on Luca's sneakers.  The interesting thing here is that he
knew Luca was a skateboarder.

So I had Rubbish infiltrate the premises.  Turns out he plays pinochle with the guy every other Tuesday.
Said he's got graphs and charts and files on all the people that live in the building.
Has a tremendous diamond collection.  That book he's holding is hollowed out - there's
actually a gun in there.  The guy's nuts.  

Word at the Neighborhood Block Association is that Wappington has been in cahoots with
Mr. Parfenix for years.  Along with some other fogies, they're part of some villainous council
that dates back to the 70's -
back when Mr. Parfenix was just a sidekick to this other galoot named The Seagull.  Boy was that
guy a pain in the ass.  His thing was, like, stealing the food right out of your mouth.  The Seagull is
apparently still active in Montclair, New Jersey but the poor bastard has a walker, and hasn't
washed his costume since the premier of Pulp Fiction.