Tuesday, February 5, 2013


What a poster!  What genius marketing (in 99¢ Stores)!  What a title!  What a Period Piece!
M. Night Shyamalan is BACK!
Inflatable Guitar, set in Virginia Beach in 1991, tells the story of five friends who don't know what to call
their band or how to play music.  So they go on a magical beach quest asking all sorts of people for help
and advice.  That's Sue and Greg.  Sue's a gifted telekinetic, while Greg's hat hides all the wires and
blinking lights of his exposed robot brain.  

That's Andrew and Jen.   Andrew's backpack is special, because if he ever needs anything, it's
always in his backpack.  It's full of cigarettes and Coors Light!  Jen's sunglasses can see the future.
And if you pull on her pony-tail hard enough a giant Phoenix comes flying out of her mouth. 

Bradley Cooper, from Silver Linings Playbook, plays the raft, Phil, who used to be a goofy stoner,
but is now a tea-totaler and hypochondriac.  To add tension, Phil used to date Jen, but Jen
wore her sunglasses and saw into the future that Phil was going to cheat on her with Sue.  The
weird thing is that Sue gets freaked out so she and Phil never do technically "hook up".

After an old alcoholic suggest that the team go off in the dunes looking for the mythical
Surfy Sea Creature known as Inflatable Guitar -- the movie becomes very scary. 

"Inflatable Guitar" turns out to be a sort of weird dinosaur/surf/rocking monster, in an obvious tribute
to the bad guys from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cartoon.  He winds up eating Jen's
Phoenix and tears Bradley Cooper to shreds.  Greg (the robot)'s waterproof-i-ness is put to the
test -- and it fails miserably.  He shorts out and dies, but saves Sue in the process.  

If it wasn't for the teams Inviso-Hats they never would have escaped from Inflatable Guitar's secret
under-ground wave-pool -- where he was planning on turning them all into surfboards.  You see how
there are only two hats?  Sue winds up dying after all in the last round of mayhem, where Inflatable
Guitar tells us why he's so mean (the other dinosaurs used to make fun of him back in the day.
That's why he had to kill them all!!!!!!!)

You know to expect high-quality entertainment from this production company, my longtime favorite.
Oh yeah!  Jonah Hill plays the beach ball mascot to the team.  In the end Jen and Andrew decide to become
models instead of in a band.  They let the air out of Jonah Hill, who really just talks way too much in the
movie, doing this weird Irish-baby accent.  They throw him in the garbage, then, go their separate ways and
never see each other again.