Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Galley for My New Book About Mr. Parfenix

Romance.  Intrigue.  Deception.  Bacon.
Welcome to the World that exists INSIDE Mr. Parfenix's MIND.
NOTE: That's him on the cover.
(With an outraged forward by Mr. Parfenix)
NOTE: due to a lawsuit with Mr. Parfenix, the character in the novel is named
Mrs. Purfonics.


  1. Like birds say cheap,cheap,cheap.

    1. Yo Mrs. Purfonic, I mean, Mr. Parfenix -- remember when you roasted that giant pig and then made us play a flash round of hide-n-seek before you let us all eat? It turned out you'd shrunk yourself down, and gone inside the pig -- starting to eat from the inside out. By the time we'd found you, you'd finished all the pork and were swimming in that weird punch-bowl you filled with red wine.

      While you were a bad host on the one hand, you were also an excellently entertaining host on the other hand.

      I thought it was hysterical how you pigeon-pooped in everyone's shoes until I'd found out you'd pooped in mine.

      By the way, it's really strange to have a "take off your shoes" rule when you haven't vacuumed in 18 years. At one point I stepped on something -- and my sock came clean off when I moved my foot. As I was trying to pull the sock off of the sticky floor -- the floor literally swallowed it, burped, and said, "Excusé moi."

      And here I thought all your talk about CARPET GARY was a just a cheap rip off of Floory from Pee-wee's Playhouse. Gary is much more of scumbag. Plus he controlled your iTunes all night and made us listen to 80's jazz.

      When I begged him to put on the first Public Enemy album, he said that Mrs. Purfonics gets embarrassed when we play the records she's produced. What lies have you been telling Carpet Gary, Mr. P?

      P.S. Did you really play the voice of Garfield in the 80's cartoon???

  2. That is a fancy cover..

    Purfonics... he he