Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Kirk the Mop

Kirk claims to be the Apartment's "Director of Fitness".
Obviously, he's very unpopular (even more than Sudsy).
He invited me to his Jumping-Jacks Seminar last year.
After laughing in his face I asked him, "Is this a catered event?".
Mr. Parfenix flicked a cigarette at him when Kirk wouldn't eat Mr. P's infamous
Gargoyle Stew because he said it was unhealthy (can't argue with him there).
Frankie hates Kirk, proclaiming "There's only room for one Director in this Apartment!".
After a while of hating on Kirk, he decided to start hating us back.
That's when we REALLY started hating him.

1 comment:

  1. But no matter how much we hate Kirk, no one can front on the fact that he wears one of the coolest hats in the Sixth Borough. When I asked him where he got it, he punched me in the face. He is strong. We don't even call him Kirk anymore we just say, "Nosejob," when he walks in the room, but we sort of whisper it or say it as a warning to the ceiling. When he asks, "What did you say?" we all say, "Gross Knobs," and point to the front doorknob. Except when he asked Sudsy and Sudsy told him point blank, "I said NOSEJOB you fucking idiot. Are you deaf? You need a nosejob, a haircut, and some bleach to take out that green in your eye."