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| This is where my friend Alice lives. |
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| Alice is a parrot. Her favorite nickname for me is Birdbrain. |
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| She wears a red toupée because she's bald. She had to got to a very special wigmaker to get such a small toupée made out of feathers. |
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| Most of our friendship is based on the fact that Alice used to date Mr, Parfenix -- my landlord who is half pigeon/half man. She's always telling me these funny stories about him. At this point, she's mostly repeating the same old stories -- but that's how everybody is. |
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| She has a few dozen roommates, and some really amazing wallpaper. |
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| This is Pamela, she runs the store For Birds Only and plays Canasta with Alice on Tuesday Nights. |
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| EPILOGUE: This seems weird and futuristic to me. |
