Friday, February 15, 2013

A Great Product


  1. I never knew there was a market for industrial scrap..
    If toxicity is not an issue, I am sitting on a potential gold mine!

    1. As well as the whole apartment.

    2. That's what I mean, Mr. Parfenix. You, me, and this whole APARTMENT BUILDING are sitting on a ton of

      toxic waste as well as
      an Indian Burial Ground as well as
      a wormhole as well as
      an medieval dungeon as well as
      the old Zaghaven Caverns amusement park attraction from the 50s as well as
      a vault that was a time capsule from dinosaur times but when we opened it - it was actually a cryogenic freezer for a weird Dinosaur-Man as well as
      a golden age comic book repository to which we still can't find the mother&*%$in' key.

  2. Replies
    1. Sure, I'll telepathically send you the data code to get into the sub-basement, via the airlock
      on the southwestern wing that you get to by going through the secret bookcase door that's inside
      Mrs. Dongwafer's Apt. on the first floor, apt Y-Zero. You'll have to bring her an Entemann's to get your foot in the door. She likes the coffee cake, like all of us.

      When she goes to make tea, run to the bookcase and pull out a copy of "Hollywood Babylon". The bookcase door will open and you step in the room, the bookcase shuts, and the floor gives out to a slide. The slide leads to the basement music studios, where all the Zaghaven rappers record their mixtapes. If you see MC Tonsilitus, tell him I said what's up.

      Exit the studios through the cabinet in the kitchenette that says "Rhyme Snax".

      This should get you safely to crawlspace that will eventually get you to airlock. Don't forget a gasmask.

      At the keypad remember that after you enter the numbers you have to kiss it.

      When the airlock opens, RUN! because it's gonna shut again, FAST. Ignore the heckling from the Dungeon prisoners. If they throw anything slimy at you, try not to think of that scene in Silence of the Lambs.

      Then just gather up some old junk we can sell at the Zaghaven Flea Market.

      Tell me what you find.

    2. Ah, good ole Miggs. It was a shame Dr. Lecter had to do away with him.

  3. Don't bring that into the bloody house!