Sunday, February 10, 2013


Truth: Computer-Head is one of my best friends.  That being said, he really does like to do his own
thing a lot of the time.  He's always got some weird scheme in play.  We like to call him the sweepstakes
vigilante.  He does a lot of babysitting, dog-walking, and landscaping (actually he just tries to sell people
gnome statues for their garden).  You can see him out on the streets of Zaghaven -- catching tags and sticker-bombing.  He's dedicated to the virtues of old school b-boyism, especially Breakdancing.  He's into
skateboarding and surfing (the internet).  He's a big coupon guy.  He throws a lot of parties and gets invited
to a lot of parties.  He has a "DRINK TICKET" collection.  He's unhealthy in his
food choices.  He consumes by SCANNING food with his hand.  He runs his hand over a cookie, and
eventually it disappears and shows up on his screen.  He's a pizza freak.  Everything is pizza with him.
Loves the Ninja Turtles, Bart, and the Toxic Avenger.  He dates all the appliances in the
building.  Straight up player.  He rocks old school video games.  ROCKS THEM.  
He's an old VHS connoisseur.  He's still taping tons of shit off of daytime TV.  Edits stuff together,
calls it "T-REX TV".  It's kind of like old MTV promos but there's a lot of static and stuff that
only a computer can understand.

His number one obsession: Judge Judy Sheindlin.  "If only she could rap," he says, "she'd end the whole game."
He's stoned a lot of the time.  Drinks too much too.  Beer mostly.  

He uses the bathroom as his personal office.  Especially when he's got to upload some of his data
to an external hard drive.  He's always consulting these old manuals whenever he's gotta do something
But out of all my friends, he's one of the only ones who's concerned about how everyone else is doing.
"Life Rules," says Computer-Head, "I just wanna be sure everyone is having a good time."

Computer-Head got his body from this lady in Zaghaven who claims to be related to the blue fairy that made Pinnochio a real boy.  This isn't true.  She's actually a complete nutjob/genius who used to work for the
Zephyr Candy Factory's "experimental" division.  Real Talk: Computer-Head's body is made up of a
kind of "living nougat" -- a team of alien molecules that are wired into Computer-Head's processing unit,
and who feed off of his various food scans.  Where did these alien molecules come from?  Well,  all
I'm gonna say right now is that the Candy Factory's Experimental Division has a Rocketship at its
disposal.  The question you should be asking is,
"What sort of candy were they trying to make from studying the alien molecules?"