Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Voortman's Cookies

So the Voortman's "Cookie Kids" Mascots of the massive Voortman's Cookie Empire all have cookies for ears
and are completely deaf.   In the commercials all the Kids are just screaming "What?" to each other and to
the teachers and to the bus driver. But when their little cookie ears grow to be be big and ripe, the Cookie Kid
that sits behind them on the Voortman's Cookie Schoolbus plucks the ear-cookie and puts in in a wrapper for
you to enjoy. 
Slightly less popular are the troublesome Voortman "Living Wafer" Mascots who sit in the back of the bus
and make fun of the Cookie Kids and give them wedgies and wet willies and noogies all the time.
The Living Wafers think they're so cool, smoking cigarettes and making out with each other all the time.
I mean, they are Zero Trans Fat, but what self-respecting wafer isn't these days?

Seriously, these guys are such assholes.