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| Like any good G.I.Joe, I need to keep updating my look. Not only that, some (all) of my roommates weren't respecting my authority enough. So I came up with this fancy Napoleon-style ADMIRAL'S hat and broke out all my trinkets and medals from middle school |
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| The Hat: Made out of VINTAGE FUNNY PAPERS from 1981. Those plastic feathers are from a 99¢ Store Indian costume. Yes, that my Bobby Digital mask. My Jolly Green Giant Money Clip and my CHIEF Fireman pin fill out the AUTHORITY. |
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| Every good Admiral needs military style SHOULDER-BOARD EPAULETS. Hey, Michael Jackson had them. I made mine out of Sudsy's old mop. (Don't tell him!) My "I'm With Stupid" Pin will always be pointing directly at my guests. |
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| Meet George Washington. He's my number one advisor -- my Jiminy Cricket if you will. He really does deserve a more high quality photograph, but it serves him right for "advising" me to get a Macy's Charge Card. Sure, I got 15% off my new Spider-man Sheets (I got some Martha Stewart ones too) but now I keep getting bombarded by emails and junk mail and service phone-calls. |
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| The Left medal is the United Federation of Teachers medal I received in Eighth Grade. Below that is my 1st Place Pinewood Derby medal that I won in Boy Scouts. (Okay, I'm lying, the Soapbox Medal belongs to Rubbish, who pilfered it from Jeff Roberts.) |
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| I use my X-Ray Specs to look into people's hearts to see if they're really committed to listening to me read from my "lists of things I've acquired". That's the Sheriff badge I scored in Frontiertown, in Lake George, NY, when I was six. |
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| From the Left: that's the hilt of my Bunny Sword - I got that this past spring out in Bensonhurst. Next is my Wooden Axe from New Haven Day in 1987. Next to that is a really cheap little trumpet that Rubbish stole from out of some kid's toy chest who lives on the 16th Floor. In addition to my usual robe sash, I'm now wearing an old Calvin Klein tie, just to up my cred as a fancy guy. Remember, the robe is vintage LL Bean everybody! |
