Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Rabbit Blake and his sidekick the Jazz Clown

One of the only known photos of the Rabbit Blake, leader of the Sixth Borough Underground.
Ruthless.

The Jazz Clown might seem nice, but his jazz can kill.  His jazz is worse than Q-Tip's jazz.
In fact, his jazz is worse than jazz.  What I mean is, all those music nerds turn to jazz and if you ever
go over their house, they try to play jazz for you.  A lot of them are just poking around trying to figure it
out - but the secret to jazz - this might blow your minds - is that it's torture.  It's meant to be torture.
Read Miles Davis' autobiography, it states clearly, "JAZZ IS TORTURE.  THE FUNNY SHIT IS WHEN
PEOPLE TRY TO LISTEN TO IT."  I'm paraphrasing, but I'm pretty sure it says something like that.
Anyhow, the Jazz Clown's brand of jazz is more deadly than all jazz.  You understand?
Rabbit lost his hand in the main Rumble that won us the borough.  He willed this carrot to grow
in it's place.  It's become anything Rabbit needs it to be.  It can be like a screwdriver, or it can cut like a
switchblade.  Rabbit can sort of whip it into the sky, and it'll stretch out and latch onto a flagpole so he
can swing around like Spidey.  It can behave like a spork, or even an umbrella.  "Everyone
should have a magic carrot hand," says Rabbit.  But no one else does.  And that's why he's the leader.

People try to diss his dirty footsie feet but that's Sixth Borough Style.