Monday, June 3, 2013

Howard Plus Sighting

Howard Plus was this St. Bernard who hung out with us briefly in the early Aughts.
He never said much and mostly just laid around, except for when there were photo opportunities.
He'd sit straight up, stare 1000 yards in the distance and pose like a proud Roman statue.
Then one day, he just disappeared...
After some snooping and interrogating (I am RAT after all), I got to the bottom of the mystery.
One night Mr. Parfenix (who else?) had the shakes real bad.
He couldn't contain himself any longer so he syphoned out the boozy contents of
Howard Plus' first aid barrel with a hose while the pooch was sleeping and partied 'til dawn.
When Howard woke up to his empty barrel, he split town feeling betrayed and useless.
Apparently, he was spotted this past Winter at the Mount Airy Lodge in The Poconos.
That Resort with the champagne-glass shaped hot tubs and wacky commercials.
Anyway, we miss you Howard Plus.