Tricycle City: Derek

Derek's cool, except when he starts complaining about his lack of torso.  I'm always like, but
you've got those nice long legs.  He's like, "If I had an appropriate size torso, they wouldn't seem so
long."  I go, "Well, that's one way of looking at it.  Why don't you get some cooler clothes?
Maybe some baggy jeans and an oversized sweater?  That 90's look worked for a lot of
fat ugly-bodied rappers back in the day.  Your little German Schoolboy Uniform doesn't help
your torso situation."  He starts yelling, " LET ME REMIND YOU, SIR: I WAS SCULPTED
THIS WAY, CLOTHES AND ALL!  I ACCUSE YOU NOW OF TOYISM!!"  Toyism is
like toy racism, or like, insensitivity to their rights and feelings.  I apologized.
Never get into it with a toy about how they were sculpted.  Either they drop mad
ego on you or they start complaining about the factory, and the conveyor belts, and
the way some guy fucked up their paintjob.  Not to mention all that heavy stuff: they're
all on anti-depressants because of the time they spent in their original packaging.
Toys that were on the shelf for more than a week are all scarred for life.  They
never bounce back from that feeling of not being wanted.