Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Bill's Greek Comic

For those just tuning in, Bill is the snowman who lives in my fridge.  He's also my therapist.
But...

Before I ever met Bill, he had a run in this Greek comic book.  This was when
he was "between PHDs" and still had to feed his family, so even though
the Greek publisher paid peanuts (literally), Bill was hard up for a gig so
he got drunk and did 2-D slapstick for the little Greek kids.
MR. PARFENIX TRANSLATES THE TITLE:
"The Shaping of Children".
The perspective in this comic reminds me of Plan 9 from Outer Space.
So bad it's good.  I never understand these Greek comic books.  The lady in the back is
chilling with that swan and they've obviously messed up the BBQ so Bill and his fam
are out.  There was some Ouzo in that bottle to the right, but I'd wager Bill drank it all already.
For the record, I can't understand Greek -- but any good comic should be able to tell its
story without the word bubbles.  Take Archie.  Or The Avengers.

Bill.  They didn't let him wear his signature knit cap for the run of the comic.

Bill's wife.  Yes, she smoked a pipe.  A lot of snowladies do the same.  If you're wondering what happened to
her, she left Bill after all the stuff that went down with their son.

Bill's son, Brimley.  Brimley was half brain-dead.  When Brimley died in the now infamous
"Hair-Dryer Incident",
Bill was secretly pleased.  He was always embarrassed to have a son who couldn't spell.  Or read.  Or write.
What was worst, was that Brimley could never "get" Bill's jokes.  Some say that Brimley committed
suicide when he turned the Hairdryer on his hairless head and melted himself to death, but Bill
was positive Brimley just messed it up, like how he lost his hand in the toaster, then forgot, and
lost his other hand in the same toaster the next day.

Bill's daughter, Nance, is now all grown up and married to a Polar Bear.  They live happily in
Alaska, but she never speaks to her estranged father.

Silence = Death.