Tuesday, March 13, 2012

You Never Know Who Your Friends Are

Yesterday the bear toy pictured below got a hold of some golden origami paper (a gift from Sudsy) and made himself a crown. Next thing you know, he's declared himself King of the Apartment, and wouldn't you know, he's got most of my other toys worshipping him! It says MADE IN HONG KONG right on his belly - how gauche is that? I bought him for a measly quarter from some kid who was having a stoop sale.

By rights, I am king of the apartment! Toys are a screwy lot, let me tell ya — most of them are either hollow-headed, or have skulls full of cheap batteries — whichever way — they're brainless. That's why they're obsessed with daytime TV. The two kids sitting in the green plastic loveseat are a couple of troublemakers and I suspect they put him (King Bogemill) up to it, so's to keep me out of the dollhouse so they can watch — more daytime TV. You know how kids don't want to play with toys anymore? Well toys don't want to play with kids anymore, either. It's a vicious cycle of laziness and couch-potatoism. I support regular potatoism but couch-potatoism has too many grey areas — like infomerciality and ideas like "bad reception is good reception so long as there's some reception".