Monday, February 20, 2012

Critter Hats

I saw these advertised in marker on posterboard as "Critter Hats" and now that's what I call them.  Why does everybody wear these?  Even if you're a little kid, I feel like you should know better.  And where the hell are they all coming from?  I checked for MADE IN... labels - and there ARE NONE.  For real, I think something suspicious is going on.  THE HATS ARE BAD.

Ever see Halloween III: Season of the Witch? Michael Myers isn't in it.  Instead, it's about a weird Irish corporation called Silver Shamrock that makes halloween masks.  The hitch is that the company is evil and they want to kill all the kids.  The masks have microchips in them that are designed to receive TV signals that can not only KILL - but can literally squash & transform kid's heads into a pile of SNAKES, SPIDERS, and COCKROACHES.  Somehow, Silver Shamrock's satellite is routed through Easter Island and this gives them devil power.  The plan is to get all the kids to watch the Silver Shamrock Halloween Special, tell them to mask up - and knock out half the population.  And the bad guys win in the end.

Anyway, I think something like that is going on with these Critter Hats - only instead of snakes and roaches, kids' brains are being turned into just dumber, very unstylish brains.

This is The Silver Shamrock Song from Halloween III.

Silver Shamrock by Frankie's Apartment

And this is a song I made, using the Silver Shamrock sample. It's called Trick or Treat, from 2001.

Trick or Treat by Frankie's Apartment